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Wednesday, August 31, 2011


When he first stepped off the train and arrived at this small town, he realised he hadn't really thought it through so clearly. He had never been to this small remote town in Europe and wondered if they even spoke English. Dismissing that uneasy thought, he continued on.

Before Eleo found himself involved in any of this, he had worked in his father's cafe - a small, insignificant shop that just stayed by the roadside all year. The 20-year-old wasn't sure what he wanted with his life at that point. When he was a kid, he had dreams, of being an astronaut and things like that. He had looked up to his father, even aspired to be like him. His father was a respectable police officer, always working for the townspeople. All that changed years ago, when he broke his leg and had to retire. Now that same man limped around the cafe, and Eleo had helped him, like a good son should.

A few days ago, his co-worker seemed troubled. After much prompting, Eleo finally got him to speak about his relatives. Apparently, his sister's daughter had passed away. The family was still grieving over her, unable to come to terms with the young girl's passing. The most curious thing about this, though, was that the official reports labeled it as a suicide but the family claimed it was murder. Only the police won't acknowledge there was a murder in that small, peaceful town and refused to investigate.

That was what got Eleo interested. Was something being covered up? As he scanned through the documents - a photo of the girl, vague family history and the newsapaper clipping of the incident, he felt his heart pounding. He was excited. For the first time in his mundane life, this was something he wanted to do. To investigate a crime like this, it was thrilling. And driven by that unknown force, he was here.

He approached the mansion that was the family's house, amazed at the size of it. He was also perplexed at the weather. It was somewhat chilly and there was snow drifting down onto the ground. But what season was it? Was it already winter? He had been working in that cafe for so long he had forgotten the time, and with it, the seasons that passed.

Before Eleo entered the building, he noticed a girl sitting alone on a swing outside the house, in some garden. He strolled towards her and as he got closer she seemed weirder. She was wearing a black dress and had long black hair that cascaded past her shoulders. He was puzzled at her appearance, which also consisted of a gas mask strapped to her face. Eleo wasn't sure if it was a good idea to speak to her, but since he was already so close, he might as well.

"Hey, aren't you cold out here?" He began, aware that her clothers didn't provide much protection from the cold weather. He removed his coat and offered it to her like a gentleman.
"It's okay, I'm fine." she replied. Her voice was more melodious than he thought it would be. Awkwardly holding onto his coat, he shrugged and put it back on clumsily.
"Why are you wearing that?" He asked, gesturing at the gas mask.
"Oh this... I have rather serious asthma, so I can't breathe properly outside."
"Oh really... Well take care then," Eleo turned to go.
"Are you going into that house?" She asked suddenly, almost getting up from her seat.
"Yea, why? Is anything wrong?" He turned back towards her.
"...Nothing. Oh what's your name?"
"...Eleo. What about you?"
"I'm Lina."
"Lina." He tried saying her name and it rolled off his tongue perfectly.
"Yea." She nodded. He smiled briefly and turned to leave.

writtern @6:18 PM

Tuesday, August 30, 2011


I don't feel like doing anything.

It's not really like I feel like being lazy, but more like I completely lost the motivation to do anything I like. I don't really want to draw and I don't enjoy playing the piano that much anymore. I don't even feel like reading manga, watching anime or doing stupid stuff. Yea, not even stalking japanese people.

I don't know.

I'm so bothered by things I probably shouldn't even care about. Am I just living for the heck of living?

Well sorry for being a bother. I'll go now. Bye.

writtern @3:03 PM


He fell asleep, into a quiet dream.
In his head there are many things.
Some are beautiful and pleasant,
But some are ugly and horrible.
His imagination creates fantasies,
of wonderful things he won't ever have.
His fears create nightmares,
of things he's hiding from.
Wandering in his fragile dreams,
he starts to feel lost.
In the distance,
he hears a faint
"Hello"
Afraid of opening his eyes,
to see that no one is there.
What if he tears apart this dream,
to arrive in an empty reality?

writtern @1:59 PM

Saturday, August 27, 2011


The world is full of hypocrites... You don't mean what you say and I don't say what I mean. It's obvious when people want you to lie and when you do, they think it's honesty.

Anyways, today I checked twitter again and was once again painfully reminded how it was a bad idea... MARASY-SAMA WHYYYY YOUUU DO A NAMAAAA ASLDKNASDKJASN*HIT*

Well ignoring that, I was wondering whether I should colour a sketch. If it's either colouring it or doing homework, I'll take colouring. Hellooooo SAIIII!!!
I'll avoid photoshop as much as I can :')

writtern @1:31 PM

Friday, August 26, 2011


I haven't been posting recently... but really, term 3 was horrible. I could expect term 4 to be even more horrendous. But this term, I just felt like I was constantly feeling troubled. By various things.

I hope to avoid mentioning the unofficially-named purgatory, so I'll start on any random topics that come to mind. On certain days I find myself paying attention in class. I keep trying to stay awake and focusing because it seemed like something important was being taught. So I didn't do a lot of the 'eloping with my imagination to wonderdreamland'.

I also realised that I wanted to buy some stuff but never got around to it, mostly out of laziness and also because I couldn't find someone to be my plus-one. I had to buy a birthday present for my father and teachers' day presents. I also wanted to buy Togainu no chi manga but orchard just seems like a pain to goooo and my sister has been working nightshifts so she isn't free. I also remembered two months ago I wanted a new mic OTL

Niconico is forever full of surprises. As most of the japanese guys there can look/sound like girls, we might as well assume everyone there is a guy unless proven otherwise >__>;; But there certainly are girls too, although I seem to be more...concerned with the guys x'D*HIT*
Well recently I found out this bassist TissueHime was a guy. ...I HAD BEEN ABSOLUTELY POSITIVE IT WAS A GIRL!!!!!*SOBS* H-h-his disguise was almost perfect... he really looked like a girl and he crossdressed too so...*HEADSDESK* But his voice gave it away, as with many other male crossdressers ='D And that was when I fabricated this amazing idea of Piko crossdressing and speaking with his girly voice. HE COULD FOOL THE WORLD!! He was pretty like a girl and he could change his voice... x'D*GETS HIT*

I also started stalking blogs after a month, though there was nothing much anyways, and Shun still talks about food and Jui is still posting in paragraphs..

Deviating from such, I just have this...bad feeling about something. That at the moment, everything is in such a mess. The most difficult thing, is still to be honest, afterall. What honest things were said couldn't simply be disregarded. Sometimes people lie to protect themselves and sometimes people lie to protect others. And I could lie so that I would not be selfish.

writtern @3:42 PM

Sunday, August 14, 2011


I am actually alive. It has been nearly a month since I last posted. My abscence was mainly due to things I refuse to talk about, of being busy and of having no life. But I am back again and instead of updating about my mundane and demanding life, I shall talk about weird dreams.

It is always a wonder as to how my subconscious generates such dreams. Were they stirred by something or did they just jump out of nowhere?

Well, there was this dream where I was taking a train to San Diego. I couldn't really understand the significance of that place, but the dream made it seem like I was going to migrate there. I wasn't really bothered by it, like "What language did they speak there? Where in the world IS San Diego!?!?" but rather I just went along... On the day that I left, I wondered if I should atleast text my friends to say goodbye, but in the end I didn't.

Then there was another dream where I met this stag in a room. He had lost his antelers and was in the process of growing them back. When I asked how he lost them, he said, "In an epic fight." Then I pointed out a set of antelers seemingly stuck in the wall, hinting that perhaps he had gotten them stuck..?
But he insisted, rather strongly, "I put it there."
I didn't really believe him, but he kept insisting, "I put it there. I put it there. I PUT IT THERE! I PUT IT THERE!!" And with the echoing of his annoying claims the dream ended.

Another dream I could remember was where I was pulled onto a bus coach, together with various other kids. Like, literally getting kidnapped out of nowhere. We weren't told where we were going, but we were travelling through this deserted road in the evening and I had this feeling we were going to Toshima.
...Toshima? Won't I just die there? Were we being sent to take part in Igura!?!? We never actually reached there, though nothing much would have happen if I just got killed. Anyways, I was wearing a warm jacket with a collar lined with fur... Wait, did I steal that from Akira!?*HIT*

And at this point the talk of dreams will end.

Recently, I have started reading and watching Togainu no chi. It disturbs me that though the genre claims 'Yaoi/shonen-ai', there isn't much evidence of that. Also, though there about 8 volumes published... ONLY 9 CHAPTERS HAVE BEEN SCANLATED OTL;; I want to find it.. It was licensed in English but I can't find it in stock.. Even my most relied-on bookstore, Kinokuniya, says it's out of stock. WHY DO I HAVE TO LIKE SUCH OBSCURE MANGA!?!?!? I have this tendency to favour obscure mangas and indie bands... Detesting most of the mainstream...

Togainu no chi was also originally a visual novel game... which was yaoi... and had AKIRAXEVERYONE*HITHIT* How could the author do that to Akira x'DDD Just 'cause everyone called him 'cute' at some point OTL;; I initially didn't know what colour Akira's hair was o.o I couldn't be sure cause the original art when coloured had some weird lighting like... it looked blond, greenish and grey. I was hoping it would be blonds... CAUSE BLONDS ARE AWESOME-*HIT* And thank goodness it wasn't green..HOW WOULD I LIVE WITH THAT AAAAAHHH~ So it was grey.... Well it's okay... Still cute-*HIT*

So.. my life has been pretty drained of happiness and mundane and.. demanding in nature. I mean, suddenly the only word to describe our lives becomes 'SCHOOL', whether we like it or not, or else we could call it 'purgatory' too. Pretty much, waking up and going to school, going home and doing homework until we sleep and repeat the cycle. How depressing... My cca is practically PURGATORY now.

BUT NOW I CAN ESCAPE TO THE BEAUTIFUL WORLD OF NICONICO OR THE AWESOME WORLD OF YAAAAOOOO-*KILLED*

..Totally becoming insane and bipolar.

writtern @1:50 PM