Goodmorning~
Well I actually woke up at 9 today but when I used the com it was 11... Anyways I'm not sure why I woke up early. Last night I think I only slept at 2. I was thinking a lot.
Before I drown myself in studying... cause I haven't really studied hard =X I figured I won't do that well but I won't want to do THAT badly. Though it doesn't make a difference to the onslaught of expectations and insults =x= I wanted to just say something, but it's okay if you don't read it. I just hope it won't bother you OTL
No matter what I try to think it is still sad. I tried to come up with some reason, but I just felt that they must have realised they reached some dead end. The new songs really weren't that good and they were aware, because they were playing mostly old songs. So I tried to think that the disband was inevitable for them to move forward. It wasn't like they won't know how disappointed a fan would feel. It wasn't like they never had feelings like that so...
Even as I talk about Vidoll it feels like its just a memory... The songs are like a memory. I'm worried I won't be able to listen to the songs without feeling sad. For some of the songs, each line seems more painful...
It's so hard to be honest. When I am speaking so honestly, it feels vulnerable. Maybe that's why we would use lies to protect outselves. I understand the feeling of having to lie so that I do not become a burdern, but it's really not that good if it's important.
I just want to wish them good luck wherever they go and if possible I want to support them forever. Even as a memory, I'll still want to cherish it. I also hope they'll take care of themselves more... Especially Jui. Lying about your throat not hurting isn't good ;~;
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I'm just checking their blogs now. After the live, Jui made a post to say,
"心からありがとう"
(Thank you from my heart)
Shun made a long post x___x I think I'll risk some stupidity by using google translate.
I ended up not really reading the translation, but just refering to it. It wasn't that hard to read the message in japanese, there were only some words I weren't sure but I'm pretty sure I got the main gist of it. I would have expected that the members might write some sortof message, but even as I read it I felt like crying again. It feels like this won't stop... I mean, at first it was Jui making me cry then now it's Shun.
He talked alot about memories from Vidoll. He also talked about the last live. Then I'll just quote some parts, including my 'translation'..
でもそれぞれ違う道を進み始めてるしこれは一つの現実なんだと最近受け入れた
Soon we would all go in different ways and now I had only began to accept that reality.
バラバラに進んでたとしてもいつかまた交わる時がきたら
Even as we separate sometime we would meet again
それまでに成長していたらもっといいヴィドールを見せられると思います
At that time I want to be able to show a better(as in more professional, matured) Vidoll
いつかその時までさよならだね
Until that time, goodbye.
ワガママかもしれないけどその日までそれぞれのメンバーを見守ってくれたら嬉しいです
I know its selfish but until that day please watch over each member and I'll be happy.
みんな元気でね
Goodluck, everyone.
言葉では言い表せないくらいみんなにはパワーをもらった
I can't express it well in words
今まで本当にありがとうございました
Even now, really thank you very much
またいつかどこかで会おうね
Again, we would meet somewhere.
ヴィドール シュン
Vidoll Shun